FRODO'S JOURNAL - A day in the life of a Hobbit of the Shire. (Pre-Quest Years)

Thankfully, I felt much better today. I suppose I owe it to the Widow Rumble’s herbal remedy. She is an acquaintance of the Gamgee’s and she learned of my cold from Sam. I don’t know what was in the tonic, but even with a stuffy nose I was able to discern it as one of the most foul smelling, vile tasting substances I have ever encountered. At any rate, it worked, and I’m grateful for that. Especially, since now that I’m back on my feet, I won’t have to undergo any more nursing from Bennie and Mundee. Somehow, they both found out that I was indisposed, and as I feared they were both determined to restore me to health. What with their frequent checks, and cures and remedies of every sort imaginable, I was sure that I would be killed with kindness.

Nevertheless, I felt like getting out today, since the weather seemed agreeable enough. Being cooped up for a few days made me restless and I was itching to look at something other than the inside of Bag End. I hadn’t really planned a particular destination. I just started walking in the direction of Hobbiton. Along the way, I met with several greetings and a few enquiries about my health.

My rambling landed me in the center of town, so I decided as long as I was there, I might as well pick up a few provisions. I hadn’t really felt much like eating the past few days, but now, my appetite had returned, and quite forcefully, at that.

As I passed the entrance of the local bake shop, the irresistible fragrance of freshly baked goods beckoned. So, of course I had no choice but to enter the shop. The delicious aroma was even stronger inside and as I stepped up to the counter I was so enthralled with the tempting ly displayed cakes that at first I paid no heed to anything else in the shop, until I heard a familiar voice.

"Girls, I do wish you wouldn’t nit pick and bicker at each other so. It makes it rather uncomfortable for the people around you."

I glanced toward the back of the shop where a few tables were set up for patrons to enjoy tea and pastries on the spot. Seated at one of the tables, along with her daughter, Bennie and foster daughter, Mundee, was my cousin, Lavender Baggins. She was obviously in Hobbiton for a visit with the girls. And, it was just as obvious from the look on her face, that she was not pleased. The girls didn’t exactly look happy either. As a matter of fact, they were openly scowling at one another.

None of them had seen me as yet, and since this didn’t seem to be a good time for a social visit, I thought it might be best if I turned around and quietly and quickly slipped out of the shop.

"Frodo! Frodo Baggins!" Lavender’s voice rang out.

So much for that idea, there was nothing for it but to make my way over to their table. "Good day, ladies. I see that you have decided to sample the specialty of the house." Before each of them was a plate containing the Brownlock Bakery special, a caramelised pear tart, smothered in thick, rich cream.

"Oh yes! Mundee insisied that I try it. It is quite delicious." Lavender enthused. "But, enough about that, how are you feeling? Bennie and Mundee told me you’d been ill."

"It was only a cold. But, I’m felling much better, thank you."

"I'm glad to hear that! It's good to see you out and about." said Mundee.

Bennie glanced at me coyly, from under long lashes. "Yes, I was so very worried about you Frodo!"

"Well, since you're feeling better, why don't you join us for tea?" Lavender invited.

"Oh yes, Frodo, please do." This from Bennie.

"Well...I’m not sure..." I began

"Not sure? But you must, I insist." Lavender said.

"Mother, " Mundee interrupted, "Frodo has only just gotten over a bad cold, perhaps he doesn’t quite feel up to having tea with us."

"Oh nonsense!" Lavender huffed. "How could one not feel up to tea? Why a nice cup of tea is the very thing to fortify one and build up one’s strength. Now, sit down, my dear boy." She patted the seat of the empty chair between her and Bennie.

So, I did what any gentlehobbit would do. I sat down. Then, made the mistake of smiling at Bennie, who met my gaze with one of her own, one calculated to be thoroughly enticing. This look was not lost on Mundee, whose own eyes fairly flashed. I fervently hoped that we could make it through tea without someone wearing theirs.

Lavender wasted no time in calling for an extra place to be set. I stared at the sumptuous tart on my plate and wondered if my stomach could handle something so rich after a steady diet of toast and broth. I quickly decided it was worth the risk. After the first bite, it was a foregone conclusion.

"How is Cousin Bodo? Is he visiting, too?" I enquired politely.

"No, he didn’t come this time." Mundee answered.

"If he had, it’s not likely he’d be here having tea with us." Bennie smirked, trying to stifle a giggle.

I knew she was implying that he would have been at one of the local taverns instead.

"Verbena, that was totally uncalled for." Came her mother’s stern reprimand.

"Maybe, but it’s the truth." Bennie insisted, under her breath.

"Father didn’t come this time as he had some business at the farm to take care of." Explained Mundee.

"Oh, I see. Well, I’m sure he’d have come if he could." I said. "It must be very important business, to keep him away from his daughters."

"It’s breeding business." Bennie stated bluntly.

"Verbena!" Her mother exclaimed.

"Well, it is."

"Be that as it may, it was not necessary to announce it to the whole room."

"I didn’t announce it to the whole room, only to Frodo." Bennie was wearing a mischievous grin. "Besides, Frodo, and everyone else, knows that Father breeds ponies. "

"Frodo, I must apologise for Verbena’s rude manners!"

I heard myself laugh a little self-consciously. "There is no need to apologise, Cousin Lavender. Bennie was only speaking the truth."

"Yes, but does she have to speak it so bluntly?" Her mother lamented.

I noticed Mundee was watching her foster sister with narrowed eyes, as if trying to figure out what she was up to. Yet, a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. I, however, knew Bennie well enough to guess what she was mischief she was up to. She was deliberately bating Lavender. She seemed to find it great sport, trying to shock her extremely proper mother.

Bennie rolled her eyes. "Oh Mother, don't be so dramatic! It's not as if we're all ignorant of the birds and bees. I breed ponies, too."

"Please!" Lavender looked as if she'd have liked to clap her hand over Bennie's mouth. "Must you announce it as if it's something to be proud of. It's not at all respectable for a young lady."

"Why? What's not respectable about breeding ponies?" Bennie insisted.

"Do you have to keep mentioning that word?"

"What word is that?" Bennie feigned innocence.

"Breeding, I think it was." Mundee spoke up, a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"Mundee!" Lavender turned on her ward with the same exasperation and remonstrance that was usually reserved for Bennie.

As for Bennie, she looked a little surprised that the scourge of her life had joined forces with her. For that brief moment, the two sworn enemies united in a sisterly bond. However, that’s just what it was, brief. For in the next moment, Lavender’s chastisement unlocked the door to jealousy.

"Mundee Baggins! I expected better of you. I had hoped that you had better manners than Verbena. At the very least, I thought you had more hobbit sense."

"What?" Bennie practically glowered at her mother.

I had been just about ready to take another bite of pear tart, but upon hearing the incensed tone in Bennie's voice, my fork froze in midair on its way to my mouth.

"That little mudlark? More sense and manners than me? Ha!"

"What did you call me?" Now, Mundee's voice had taken on a provoked edge.

"You heard me."

As swiftly as possible, I scooted my chair away from the table taking my tea and tart with me.

"Girls, girls... you mustn’t carry on like this in public!" Lavender scolded.

The young ladies paid no heed. They were much too busy glaring at one another.

"Well, I’d rather be a mudlark than a...tart."

"A what? I dare you to say that again!" Bennie challenged her foster sister.

Lavender’s look of embarrassment had begun to change to one of panic. She fanned herself frantically. In the past, Lavender had been known to faint when extremely vexed. I guessed from the way that she was wringing her hands, that this might qualify as one of those times. In truth, I felt rather sorry for her, so, I thought perhaps I should do something to help divert potential disaster. In retrospect, perhaps I would have done better to have let her faint.

"I will say it again. You’re a tart. And I don’t mean pear tart, either." Mundee nodded toward the pastry on the table. "I mean tart as in...trollop..."

Putting aside my cup and plate, I strode over to where the two sisters stood bristling at each other and bravely put myself between them. "Mundee, Bennie, please, can’t we stop this-"

"as in tramp..." Mundee continued, leaning around me. "as in..."

Bennie ‘s eyes narrowed to blue slits. I don’t know exactly when she picked up the tea cup. I only know that I barely ducked in time to avoid being doused by hot tea. I suppose I should have been the gentlehobbit and taken the tea that had been meant for Mundee. But I hadn’t even thought, my ducking had been pure reflex. Poor Mundee ended up fairly dripping. So, I also suppose that it was a sort of poetic justice, when Mundee also picked up another full cup of tea and flung it at Bennie. This time, my reflexes were slower. I received the full brunt of it.

"Oh! Oh! Frodo, I’m so sorry!" Mundee was horrified. "I didn’t mean for it....I mean, I wasn’t aiming at you!"

"It’s all right, Mundee. I know you weren’t." I said,as I reached for my handkerchief.

Bennie had hurried to my rescue and was soon busy wiping sticky tea from my face. "There’s not much I can do about your shirt and waistcoat." She said.

"Oh, look at your shirt!" Mundee fretted. "It’s ruined."

"Mundee, stop worrying. It’s all right, really. You're as drenched in tea as I am."

Lavender, who had not succumbed to a swoon, had the presence of mind to borrow some towels from the proprietor. And soon, I was rubbing my damp hair as vigorously as I could.

I noticed that Bennie was studying me thoughtfully. "You know, this is a bakery." she mused absently, "I’m sure there are ovens in the back. Frodo could take his clothes off- his shirt, I meant, take his shirt off, and dry by the fire."

"Verbena!"

"That’s really not necessary." I assured Bennie. "It’s not as if I’m soaked through with tea. It was mostly my hair and shirt collar that got wet. I’m sure I’ll air dry quickly enough."

"It was just a thought." said Bennie.

Lavender caught her daughter by the arm and whispered something in her ear. I’m not sure, but I think her words were, "And, not at all appropriate."

Mundee was still worrying over me. "Please do make sure you’re dry before you go outside, Frodo."

"And, you as well." She started to turn away, but I stopped her before she did so. " Mundee, I apologise for ducking. I should have taken that cup of tea in the face, as well."

She laughed and answered, "That's a very gallant thought, Frodo. But I'm glad you didn't. I'll survive Bennie's tea in the face. But you’ve just recovered from a cold. I’ve probably caused you to catch it all over again."

"Don’t you remember what Lavender said? Tea is just the thing to give one strength. I should be quite strong, now. I’ve got tea inside and out."

Mundee bestowed a playful slap on my arm, just as the shopkeeper came round and asked whether we would like another pot of tea and some scones while we were waiting to dry out. It’s not often I decline tea and fresh baked scones, but I’d undoubtedly had enough fortifying for one day.