FRODO'S JOURNAL - A day in the life of a Hobbit of the Shire. (Pre-Quest Years)

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After Breakfast this Morning, there was a rap upon my door. I answered it and found myself on the receiving end of Merry Brandybuck’s address, "Hullo, Frodo!"

This was echoed just as cheerfully by Pippin, as my two cousins, brushed past me into the entrance hall. I assumed since they carried knapsacks, they intended to stay for a while, or at least overnight. I didn’t mind in the least. It was not the first time I had put them up for the night, either singly, or as a pair. And, I certainly hoped it would not be the last, for I always enjoyed their lively company. But it had only been a few days since I had visited with Pippin in Tuckborough and he had made no mention then of plans to travel to Hobbiton with Merry. Still, knowing of my cousins’ somewhat unpredictable ways, it was not all that surprising that they had turned up on my doorstep.

I did wonder briefly, if Pippin had brought his namesake with him. I eyed his overstuffed pack with suspicion, but as I saw no sign of movement from within, I assumed he was traveling kitten free.

"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" I asked.

Merry shrugged his pack from his shoulders and let it fall with a thud to the floor. Pip did likewise, which confirmed, much to my relief, that no living creature had hitched a ride in his knapsack.

"There’s been some flooding along the Brandywine, from the melting snow and all the recent rains." Merry announced.

"How dreadful!" I exclaimed. For a moment, visions of Brandy Hall surrounded by flood water filled my mind. I knew it was entirely possible for Merry to have gotten out, as Bucklanders are not averse to using boats. "Is everyone all right? How are Saradoc and Esmeralda?"

"Oh, everyone is fine! There’s no damage to Brandy Hall " Merry assured me. "But a few of the farms around Haysend and Breredon had some damage. Thankfully, no one was hurt, though."

I breathed a sigh of relief as Merry continued, "We took some of the flood families into the Hall. It’s made things a little more crowded than usual so I thought I’d get away for a few days. I headed to the Smials to see Pip and he said you’d been there, a few days ago. So," Merry finished with a wide grin, "Pip and I figured it was your turn to play host for a
while."

"And, here we are!" Pippin added.

"So I see. Well, you are both very welcome, of course." I promised them. "However," I turned to Pippin, "since I didn’t know you were coming, Pip, I fear that my cupboards are not as well stocked as you might wish."

Pippin exchanged a knowing glance with Merry before answering. "Not to worry, Frodo! We thought as much, so... we brought along provisions."

He knelt to open his pack and brought forth a small package, which proved to be a loaf of bread, baked to a lovely golden crust. Further rummaging produced a brick of cheese and some scones.

"So, Frodo, if you’d be good enough to put on a pot of tea, we’re all set!" Merry said, rubbing his hands together.

I did better than a mere pot of tea. I fried up some bacon, as well. And after a very fulfilling second breakfast, we lolled around in the drawing room, smoking and talking and passed the rest of the morning being all together, perfectly satisfied and lazy, until lunch time, during which, we thoroughly polished off the scones and did quite a bit of damage to the remainder of the bread and cheese.

It was also about this time that Fredegar Bolger and Folco Boffin presented themselves at my door. Fredegar was good enough to provide us with an after lunch dessert. He hardly ever left home without some form of sustenance on his person, which I suppose may have helped him earn and keep the nickname of Fatty.

At any rate, it was lucky for us that he happened to be carrying a good supply of seed cakes, wrapped up neatly and stowed away in his jacket.

With such agreeable company and plenty to munch on, time passed rather serenely. Until Pippin, who had not quite been satisfied by the seed cakes, began his customary habit of scouring my cabinets. He emerged from the kitchen with no food, but instead, with a deck of cards that Sam and I had left lying about one evening.

The party immediately transferred from the drawing room to the dining room table. After a few hands of "Four Farthings," someone suggested a game of "Jumpy Mr. Squirrel," which prompted Folco to bring out a handful of coins. As the game went on, it was plain to see that he was having an excellent run of luck and it wasn’t long before he had a tidy pile of silver before him. By the end of the sixth hand, I was divested of my allotted purse.

I noticed that Merry had adopted an intense look of concentration. However, he did drop this long enough to ask, "Frodo, do you have anything to drink?"

"I’ll put on another pot of tea." I answered as I prepared to push away from the table.

"No, no, I meant, have you anything other than tea, something a little cooler perhaps?" And he wiped away a barely noticeable bead of sweat as he spoke.

There were only three drinks in my kitchen that would fit the bill of something cooler than tea. Apart from water, the other two choices were a half gallon of cider I’d gotten from the Ivy bush and some of the Gaffer’s home brew that was left over form my Yule party.

At the moment, I didn’t think the Gaffer’s brew would be the best of choices, so I replied, "There’s water or cider."

Merry wasted no time in deliberating. "I’ll have the cider, thank you."

Since I was out of the game anyway, I didn’t mind playing innkeeper to my guests. I gathered up some mugs and placing these, along with the pitcher of cider on a tray, which I’d had a bit of trouble locating, returned to the dining room. It was as I was serving drinks around that I noticed that the game had changed. "Jumpy Mr. Squirrel" was no longer the game in play.

"Over already?" I asked.

"Falco just about cleaned us out!" Pippin answered.

Merry said nothing. He merely sat there, in tightlipped silence, while Fredegar shoved the last of a seed cake into his mouth.

It was then I recognised the lightning fast pace of "Dirty Neighbour," the slick "game" that I had learned from Cousin Mundee and, in turn, taught to Braedon Took in order to teach Merry and Pip a lesson on the evils of cheating at cards.

Then, for some reason I have yet to fathom, Braedon had taken into his confidence, and spilled the secret of "Dirty Neighbour" to the very two people he had used it against. And, now I watched as Merry and Pippin were about to use this same sham to take Fatty and Folco for every last farthing. It seemed my lesson in ethics had backfired. I suddenly remembered snatches of conversation among the three conspirators the day after the "Dirty Neighbour" episode and the realisation came to me that they had been planning
this ever since. They had only been waiting for the opportune moment.

"Merry, Pippin-"

"Is there any of that cheese left, Frodo? I’d really like some to go with the cider." Merry said, effectively cutting me off.

"Me, too." Pip chimed.

I seriously wondered if Merry and Pippin took me for a fool. They should have known that, as their older and presumably more responsible cousin, there was no way that I could stand by with a clear conscience and casually look on as they fleeced two other of my close friends. I was on the verge of intervening when a most astonishing turn of events
took place.

"Ha!" Folco shouted.

The confident look on Merry’s face dissolved into one of disbelief as he stared at the cards that Folco had slapped face up on the table. Pippin gaped too, mouth open. However, Fatty’s smile was as smug as the one worn by Folco, who leaned across the table and victoriously scooped up the rest of Merry and Pip’s coins.

"You two are not the only one’s as knows how to play "Dirty Neighbour."

"B-but, how?" Merry stammered, then turned an accusing look on me.

"Oh, Frodo had nothing to do with it." Fatty laughed.

"You see, my friends," Folco explained. "I’ve played cards with Mundee Baggins, too."

Fortunately, Folco and Fatty handed the "winnings" back to the crestfallen "losers," after letting them sweat for a bit. Both Merry and Pippin solemnly declared that had the situation ended in reverse, they would have returned the money, too. They were very convincing and I sincerely believe they meant every word, but I suppose only they know the true measure of their intentions.